Planning Your Wedding From Afar: Personal Insight & Tips

Hi guys!! I feel like I have been gone forever and it’s so good to be back here. I’ve had a whirlwind few past weeks - from working Mel‘s wedding in Cabo and the Fizz & Frills launch party, to another wedding I did this past weekend, to having Steph & Robin staying with us for most of last week, I am pretty much exhausted at the moment! But… now I’m working on a few more exciting weddings in Maine and Carmel coming up in September and October, so the fun hasn’t ended yet!

I hope you’re all doing well and had a great weekend! This week is going to be a good one over here at LLD - we’ve got some tips from Jennie Fresa along with some more personal posts. But today, I want to kick off the week giving a little bit of perspective in to what it was like planning the big day from across the country. Some of you know this but others might not - we planned our Connecticut wedding while living in California. Not gonna lie - I was upset at first, when we were engaged living in California, but our friends and family were all located back east. I felt like I was missing out on what the whole experience was supposed to be like. I had to rely on texting dress pictures to my mom instead of having her right there with me, and there was no big celebration when the engagement first took place. Please don’t judge me for these little pieces that got me slightly upset; I know things could be worse in life, but this was my initial thinking. When I sent my first text picture to my mom of my dress, her reaction wasn’t what I always hoped it would be, but that’s because I wasn’t even sure what it was supposed to be (and she wasn’t sure how to react, either, so we were both left feeling upset for no reason {love you mom!})

{dress pic text}

I had all these hopes and dreams in my head that life would significantly change once I got that pretty ring. But the truth is, life moves on just as it had been, with the addition of a fun party to plan and anticipation of an exciting future together. Looking back, cross country planning wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but here are some things I learned along the way that made it just a bit easier.

1- Don’t let your expectations get you down. Seriously - throw those little daydreams away about what you think the planning is going to be like. What it will be like to try on dresses with your girls and your mom, what you could potentially be missing out on, yada yada yada. You get the picture, right? Once those expectations of what you thought the planning would be like are out the window, you have less to feel upset about, and instead you can focus on the fun times of planning, and those jam-packed weekends when you do get to go home, filled to the brim with wedding mania. This can apply to all aspects of the wedding, actually, because reality doesn’t always live up to your expectations, and this is ok.

2- Be prepared for your visits. Come with lists of what you want to get accomplished when you’re back - that way you can get as much out of those visits as possible, including all that special time you want to be spending with your family, that you feel like you’re missing out on from across the country. Those trips will become something you look forward to, and a fond memory to look back on.

3- Look in to bridesmaid dresses that can be purchased from several different locations. We purchased ours from Lula Kate, through Bella Bridesmaid, which has tons of locations all over the country. This way, if the ladies were in different states, they could all still try on dresses. We were able to do this all together during one of my trips back east, and {unexpectedly} again when I was home for my grandmother’s funeral. It may sound horrible, but it was such a nice time for my cousins and I to spend together as family, and we knew Mimi was with us. We were able to laugh and be silly and truly enjoy each other’s company even more so, realizing some things were more important than others. You can also think about j.crew or modcloth, or a dress company that allows for online ordering, to make things even more convenient, but if you’re able to all go try on dresses together during one of your trips, I highly recommend it!

4- Learn to let go. Your bridal party is going to ask “what can we do” and you’re not going to want to relinquish things. Learn to let go of some of the lovely little details - it will be hard but trust me, in the end, having your bridesmaids pick up local components for your out-of-town bags will be so worth it for your sanity, and your to-do list. Let go - you can do it!

Most importantly, remember that you’re not alone. There are so many people who do the cross country/state planning, and you just have to brace yourself for it. Look into skype or video chat that you can do with your family for the tough conversations like budget, or to show off your latest DIY triumph. Hire a local planner if the location is completely destination for everyone, including yourself. The more you can do to let go, the better your sanity will be. You won’t be missing out on anything you don’t set yourself up to miss.

© lovely little details