Standing Together Against Bullying: Who’s With Me? {Spread Kindness}

Dear readers: today’s post is personal. No pretty flowers or crafty DIY ideas. And I promise never again to subject you to the egg crate garland, hehe. But as this blog is my home away from home, I feel the need to finally put this post together that has taken a lifetime to write. Thank you for reading, I hope you will help spread the word and pass this on in your own way.

Once upon a time in a small town in Connecticut there was a little girl named Jacin, yes, the boys name Jacin. Her favorite color was blue, she had a sweet chili bowl hair cut, and she was unique - thus, she was different. She was completely fine with being the oddball kid who just loved to laugh and have fun, and tried to be as nice as she could to the other kids. But once she stepped foot in to middle school, things changed. Being different was no longer “cool”. Her name, her frizzy, crazy hair, teenage skin, chosen instrument in band, dorky clothes and other things that set her apart from the rest, just didn’t make the cut anymore. Suddenly, there was a feeling of insecurity, a need to prove herself and fit in with the crowd, and an awareness of mean spirited kids around her, who didn’t think she was good enough.

Don’t get me wrong.. I had friends. Wonderful friends who I still consider my best friends to this day, and understand me for who I am. College friends who became like brothers and sisters to me. One college friend even ended up being the man I would marry. And my family? Possibly the best family ever - a complete “love you for who you are” group of people. But all through middle school, high school, and even the beginning of college, I was certainly a victim of bullying, sometimes to the extent that would make me not want to go to school. I would tell my mom I had a “stomachache” more times than I can count. As embarrassing as this may be, I’m going to share with you some of the worst bullying events in my memory. While there are plenty more where these came from, I’m hoping by posting these, it might make the people who did these things think twice, but more importantly, make others reflect as well:

  • Coming off the bus in middle school sopping wet from having water balloons thrown at me, because I wouldn’t say the curse word that the bully dared me to say.
  • Having my sexuality challenged because I considered going to an all-girls private high school. The ironic part of this is that the one girl who was the worst bully in this situation actually is gay. And I completely accept her for that. But she sure did make my life a living hell for a while there.
  • Walking home from the bus in high school with a new friend I had made, someone who only just moved to town that week, only to have a bully drive by in her pickup truck screaming “LOSER!” Feeling sad and embarrassed and worried that this new friend would think I wasn’t cool enough.
  • Going to a party off campus during college with all of my friends, and having one girl in particular dump a beer on my head. For no reason other than she just didn’t like me. Now that really put a damper on my evening. No pun intended.

This post is slightly embarrassing. But you know what? I’m going to put it all out there, because I made it through it, and I truly believe it helped me become the person I am today. Accomplished, strong, different, unique, fun, and happy. A person who doesn’t give a sh*t about what judgements others may make. Actually, I’d like to thank those mean girls for helping push me to be a better person. Someone who will defend others in their times of trouble, or if they too are being attacked. Someone who is prouder than words can even say to have a gay brother. An amazing, courageous, strong, kind-hearted brother. Someone who isn’t afraid to stand up against things that are just wrong. Someone who will stand up to bullying, in any way I can.

Bullying doesn’t just happen in school. It also happens online in social media. It happens everywhere. People pass judgement way too easily these days. From dissing wedding trends to making snide remarks on twitter about a comment someone made (get a life, people). It’s happened to me and I’m sure it’s happened to some of you, too. It’s so easy to judge someone when the only thing you know about them is their twitter handle or what you see from blog posts.

Thankfully for the above-mentioned girls, I was able to learn how to let things go and continue to be me.

But for others, it is not as easy. The U.S. Department of Education has concluded that bullying and harassment affects nearly one in every three American school children in grades six through ten and another confirms that harassment in schools is experienced by a majority of students. Some children are tormented so badly that the only escape they can fathom is suicide. Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University.

In an effort to bring forth awareness and prevention of bullying, I am joining forces with Stand Together, a community of people dedicated to taking action against bullying, started by Sirdeaner Walker, who lost her 11-year old son, Carl Joseph Walker Hoover, to suicide in April 2009, after he experienced relentless bullying. Stand Together is focused on the following:

  • Raise awareness on the overwhelming number of bullying incidences in the U.S.
  • Create a united community against bullying
  • Educate teachers, staff, parents and students on ill effects of bullying and effective responses before bullying becomes a serious problem
  • Help to implement proactive anti-bullying policy in your community. These changes could have a dramatic, positive impact on the lives of students in your community
  • Provide resources to parents of children being bullied, to educators and/or communities who are dealing with bullying situations

My hope is that by posting today’s blog post, I can start a movement in the blog world. I would love to see readers and fellow bloggers post about their experiences and help spread the word. You can go to the Stand Together website and register for your number, then upload your picture to their website. But post or no post, number or no number, please just think about your words and actions next time before passing judgement, or being mean-spirited. Being mean will get you nowhere in the long run. Actions are the most important thing - standing up for someone in trouble, speaking up when you might be the only one brave enough to do it. As Karin said in the comments below, uploading a number will do nothing - actions are the most important thing you can do. Like laughter, kindness is infectious and is the prettiest form of beauty anyone can behold. But actions and behavior are also contagious, and wouldn’t doing the right thing be a great message to spread?

Stand with us. Together we can defeat bullying.

  • Brit @ Landlocked Bride says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I’m glad you let us in to the world of Jacin. And, thank you for posting this. I only hope that with more awareness we can all help to put an end to bullying of all types and show everyone that they are awesome, special, and worth it.

  • Steph {bubblerock} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    You and me (and I am sure a lot of others) have a very similar experience of life up until now and I feel particularly touched about this post. It is close to home.
    Bullying is a real social issue with no easy fix but awareness and general understanding of the consequences will open people’s mind and make things a little better.
    And you, you stand up strong for causes like this: you are awesome!

  • Karin Beauregard says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    We have ALL been subjected to bullying at one time or another. It is has been around since forever and is nothing new. It comes in many forms, both verbally and physically. But since the evolution of the Internet we’ve become more aware of many socially unaccepted behaviors and actions. The difference is that we no longer seem to want to stand up or care enough or listen. There is too much apathy and laziness. It is not enough for someone to sign up for a number. It requires action. I have been bullied, my husband has been bullied, my daughter has been bullied. How did we combat this? We stood up for ourselves. We took action. My parents listened. I listened. We were aware. We asked questions and did not accept just yes, no, maybe, or I don’t know answers to our questions from our children or administrators. WE said NO when asked that bad behavior should be rewarded and punishment made more lenient. We need to begin to expect that people should be at the very least courteous, respectful, considerate and kind to each other. And when they are not, it is our responsibility to say so. To stand up. I do pick my battles carefully, but the next time the old lady at Walmart cuts me off and shoves her way past my cart to get ahead of me in line I will call her on it. I will stand up and tell her that she is rude and impolite, that she is old enough to know better, that please and thank you goes a long way, and that she should consider being an example rather than contributing to a problem. I will not let her get away with bullying her way past me with her actions and her words. That may be a small, somewhat insignificant incident considering the gravity of recent events, but that is where it starts. Small. Children are watching. Children are listening. When we as adults continue to allow bad behavior we set the examples to our children that this is okay. Don’t just take a number. It is not okay. Take action.

  • Amen, sister!! There is also http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ another great anti-bullying campaign.

  • Kristina says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Thank you for sharing! As a child I was bullied and I continue to have major self esteem issues because of it. I’m with you in standing up to bullying!

  • Laura *You Stir Me* says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I think all of us have either been bullied or had a close friend/family member be a victim of bullying - count me in for both! Thanks Jacin for raising the much needed awareness and for being true to who you are!

  • Ariella says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I’m so sorry you went through all of that, Jacin. But, I’m glad that you wrote it and that you are continuing to take a stand against bullying. I spent a good portion of my early childhood life being bullied. Between the early marks of acne, thick glasses and giant rabbit-like teeth, I was a pretty easy mark. I was pushed off the school bus for letting a person cut in front of me, I had almost every girl in my 5th grade class turned against me because I “stole” 2nd chair clarinet from another girl (She demanded a retest and I purposely flunked it), had rumors spread about me and other nasty girl things done to me. It was more the emotional abuse that girls inflict and not so much physical. I had a handful of friends that I could trust. Thankfully, I hit middle school and began to make a solid group of friends that went on through HS. I had a slight problem with some nasty girls in one of my HS classes, but by that time, I just didn’t care.

    Growing up like that has completely affected the way I am now. I take nasty stuff personally and have a major issue with being liked. If I think people don’t like me, I end up having a panic attack. I have a major fear of making people angry and STILL get anxious the random times I walk into a high school. I have been stalling on a decision to apply for teaching jobs in college because I’m afraid my students won’t like me and say nasty things about me on those professor rating sites. I also have a hard time dealing with people who write nasty things about me online. I should be some cube monkey that sits behind a desk, but me and my work are completely in the public eye making me an easy target for assholes who sit behind a computer to say things that they wouldn’t DARE to say to my face. It’s why I have a strict “No asshole” policy on my blogs.

    I admire you for taking your bullying and using it to make you a better person. The problem with bullying is that it can go one of two ways. You can become stronger because of it, or it can affect you for the rest of your life. I totally support your effort and want to be a part of it too.

  • Shannon @ Imperfectly-Inspired says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Hey Jacin,

    THANK YOU for sharing this. My heart would have been pounding pushing that Publish button. I think it is remarkable that you have the courage to discuss bullying when it hits so close to home. It’s amazing how many people experience it, yet never talk about it. So thank you for making me stop thinking about crafts, recipes and decorating for a few minutes and focus on a more important issue.


  • valery says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    So brave of you to post, thank you for sharing and getting us all thinking and talking about it.

  • Orly {the boutique photographer} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Amen lovely thanks for being brave its only by speaking out that we can ever change things and this will give hope to those kids who are going through something similar xox

  • Lauren @ Every Last Detail says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Jacin, thank you so much for sharing this! Unfortunately, it does still continue throughout life. Sometimes I just don’t understand why people can’t just be nice and kindhearted. I suppose you could say that I too was bullied- the worst part is that it was from my friends. I guess I was the most unconfident person in our group of friends, so it was easy to gang up on me and make fun of me. It still affects me today, and I honestly didn’t even realize it until just now. And now thinking about it, I’ve even been bullied by former bosses. Wow. Thank you so much for putting this out there. Thank you for making me actually think about it and confront it. You are awesome my love!

  • Becca *Petal Floral Design* says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    wow Jacin, this was powerful and gave a great reflective start to my week. Thank you for sharing such an intimate and tough subject for you. Thanks for giving light to those who need it!

  • Justine says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Um, the bowl cut? You ROCKED it. Those other girls? They’re probably still as miserable now as they were then.

  • Brenda {Best Wedding Sites} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Wow Jacin - what a post and you are one amazing lady - I knew that from the first time we were able to work together. You have the biggest heart and I thank you for sharing such a personal post. There are days where I worry already about my daughter who is only 5. She’s still in pre-school but there’s days where she’s sad and doesn’t want to go to school. I panic a bit thinking about the fall and how she’ll be in public school but I have to stay strong and keep my eyes and ears open to be alert to anything that might be wrong. Especially since she tends to keep things to herself.

  • Chelle says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Jacin, Thank you so much for your post. This hits home with more of us than anyone might imagine. I can totally relate to your experiences, as I chose to walk home versus riding the bus after too many times of being the ONE kid heckled all the way home. The bus driver wouldn’t even step in. And everyone wondered how I stayed so thin in middle school…well that’s what happens when you spend EVERY lunch hiding behind a computer in the library to avoid “those girls” in the lunch dungeon. And to think, this was over 20 years ago…it’s gotten so much worse today that I worry about my own children now. So, with that said, I will stand with you on this every hour of every day. In our industry of unique beauty and creation upon personalities…it seems only appropriate that we all stand together. Thanks again for your encouraging words!

  • The Perfect Palette says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I’m sorry you had to endure so much bullying. That’s completely awful.

    Thanks for bringing awareness to this subject matter.

    Sadly, it seems as if no matter how old you are ….there will always be a person or group of people who are out to get you. Jealous people - who simply can’t be happy for you.

    And you’re right, there’s no reason for anyone to be mean-spirited. It doesn’t get you anywhere.

    And YES - I agree with your comment about little remarks or comments on Twitter or other social media platforms. Some people should definitely get a life!

  • Michelle says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Your strength, perseverance and bravery to share this story is even more inspiring than the flowers, crafts and DIYs. Your blog is one of my daily reads, so I mean that with lots of love! Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Jenny @ Hank + Hunt says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Thank heavens for you (and the many others) that are taking a stand against this. This can’t go on any longer and we should all do our part to help. Thank you for this beautiful and heartfelt post. xo

  • Abby says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Such a brave post. Jacin you are such a beautiful person inside and out, I will never understand why people are mean to each other. It never made sense to me. You came out on top, and now it’s time to spread the good. Kindness (should) always win.

  • Koru Kate {Koru Wedding} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I am so sorry you experienced bullying! My heart goes out to those who survived bullying & those who are currently enduring it. Thank you for this brave post & for spreading the kindness. Kindness RULES!

  • Katie @ Lovebird Productions says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I know it was hard to write this post and relive sad memories but I know that it is going to help and inspire so many people. I am so glad to know a little more about you even though it is not the happiest of times. You are such a strong woman and even though I don’t know you well your braveness and drive makes me proud of you and encouraged! Thank you for taking a hard time and turning it into a positive outlet!

  • Kristin @ Bella Bridal Consultants says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Jacin, this post touched my heart! I’ve been so busy to read others’ blog posts lately, but somehow I just stumbled upon yours today. I can relate to this on a personal level because over the past year or so, I’ve been the target of some pretty nasty bullying from other women in my own profession. Women who are supposed to support and relate to other women in their current field, but only try to bring others down and say nasty, hurtful things. I’ve confided in my husband in these difficult times, and he encourages me to keep on being me, and striving to be the best I can be. Because in the end, the bullying has nothing to do with me… it’s the bully’s own level of discomfort with that situation (as some of your past experiences come to show, too). My husband Adam works with me on weddings, but during the day, he is a State Trooper specializing in bullying within New Jersey high schools. He teaches classes, he works with troubled students, and encourages the ones who are the unfortunate targets of bullying. He has a *tough* job. But he’s there because bullying has become such an issue, and it spreads like wildfire now, across all ages, due to technology and social media. I’m proud of you for sharing your situation. Be the change you want to see in the world. If we all did that, how different life would be. :)

  • Julie says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Great cause Jacin!

  • Kristen C says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Thanks so much for sharing your story, Jacin. I was also a victim of bullying when I was growing up. It’s disappointing that as women we strive to stand tall together, yet so many young girls try to break others down, not caring how harmful their words can be. I hope some of them read your post and reexamine their behavior.

  • Anna says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I’m tearing up. I heart you. Seriously, I do. Even though we’ve never met…yet. :)

    The whole bullying issue makes me so angry. Fuming, bright red furious anger. I had a really tough time in middle school. Like…really tough. The stress of it made me sick a lot. Anxiety had me throwing up on a weekly basis and not going to school. It was really awful. This is such good timing too because I’ve always had problems with keeping up friendships with girls because so many are bitter and angry and willing to hurt anyone. I’ve actually been meaning to blog about it. As awful as middle school was, I see so many people now acting the same way they did then. I just don’t get it.

    Thanks for sharing your story and this cause. The first step to make this go away is to take action. :)

  • Jenna says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Hello Jacin! I found your blog via Facebook through your brother Todd. I love this story & I”m so happy to have read it and see this organization. I have been finding a anti bullying/stop the bullying organization that I liked to help support. I too have been in your shoes & you have inspired me to write a post on my blog sometime soon about my bullying experiences.

    GO JACIN! :D

  • Liesl says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    This is such a fantastic and inspiring post, Jacin! Thank you so much for this! I love when bloggers are open and honest and make a difference too…like you! This is such an important cause and I am so sorry that you, or anyone, ever had to go through a bullying experience…I just don’t understand it and it is so sad to see how far it has gone and how much worse, on different levels, it has become! I’m right there with you and happy to take a stand!

    Liesl :)

  • Miriam Corona says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I think you are an amazing person and you lead by example. This was a great topic of discussion in my household because you made a lot of great points especially around social media bullying. I think many of us have experienced some sort of bullying or have witnessed it. Maybe we can all have the courage to stand up to it. Thanks for bringing awareness to this issue and for making this world a better place.

  • Kerry / Paper Dahlia says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Thank you for sharing your experiences and for your bravery! XO

  • Jessica / Life by the Arch says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    This is my first time coming across your blog and I really enjoyed reading your story. I can only really remember being bullied a few times in school but it was mostly in elementary/middle school. By the time high school rolled around I was more confident in myself and that helped, a lot. Great post.

  • Kate/MagnoliaRouge says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Jacin my heart breaks for the fact that you had to suffer through this and for all the children (and adults) who have to live through this every day… I can’t even begin to imagine how crippling it would be. No one should have to be scared to walk down the streets and feel vulnerable in this way. I remember one specific bullying incident of my childhood and it was such an unpleasant experience and thankfully I didn’t have a repeat of it. Good on you for standing up to this. You have such a big and warm heart xo

  • Betsy says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Jacin- you are and always will be amazing! I am so glad to have you as a best friend! Then and now!

  • Christy says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Every. Single. Day… You inspire me. Love you tons!

  • Kewain {@nolabellesoiree} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I can’t tell you the amount of times my name has been subjected to mean comments. I also had a mother who thought girls should always wear dresses so elementary school was tough and when I didn’t have the most expensive shoes in middle school I was duped ‘lame’ But I truly thank heaven for these people because they inspired me to show them what made me a better person. If it weren’t for them I would have never studied harder and realized the value of humility and being a giving person. I definately would have never met someone as great as you! Last I checked these same people were married and had kids before 25 and had never left the state. That was never and will never be my goal. I wanted to meet people and see the world. So I completely agree we are wierd, unique, different whatever label they decide to use because we did something they were afraid to - dream. The funny thing is the older I get the bigger my dreams become so I guess I will never fit into their cookie cutter view because I am always changing with the end and I LOVE it and myself. P.S. I don’t give a d*mn what anyone thinks of me either - it’s my life not theirs. So deal with it.

  • Todd H. Page says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    This post made me tear up in all the right ways.

    Incredibly, I didn’t know that you were bullied in school. I think growing up with an older sister, you just automatically assume that since they’re really cool to you, they’re really cool to everyone else. You always carried yourself with confidence, at least in my eyes, and I never saw past that. And your self-confidence was always inspiring to me, and helped me to get through my own bullying. [and of course the GHS football team didn't hurt]

    I love you Jacin, and I’m so proud you’re my sister for a number of reasons. I was bullied in school too, to the point of severe depression for a while, but much like you, the support of y’all and my friends, pushing through it helped to make me into a more understanding, confident and happy to be who I am, to hell with the people who don’t like it.

    I… let’s just say that bullying had a very severe and serious impact on my life, and it makes me proud and happy to see this stand against it.

    So much love.

    • Steph {bubblerock} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

      Todd: you do have a wonderful sister and my brother has certainly been through similar pains growing up but even as a little sister I stood up for him. That’s what it means to be brothers and sisters… We just love each other without questioning it.
      And I am sure Jacin was a strong girl and you looked up to her for a reason :)
      She is awesome. I love her lots and I am glad our paths crossed…
      And from I have heard: you are pretty awesome too! This had to be said!

  • Todd H. Page says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    This post made me tear up in all the right ways.

    Incredibly, I didn’t know that you were bullied in school. I think growing up with an older sister, you just automatically assume that since they’re really cool to you, they’re really cool to everyone else. You always carried yourself with confidence, at least in my eyes, and I never saw past that. And your self-confidence was always inspiring to me, and helped me to get through my own bullying. [and of course the GHS football team didn't hurt]

    I love you Jacin, and I’m so proud you’re my sister for a number of reasons. I was bullied in school too, to the point of severe depression for a while, but much like you, the support of y’all and my friends, pushing through it helped to make me into a more understanding, confident and happy to be who I am, to hell with the people who don’t like it.

    I… let’s just say that bullying had a very severe and serious impact on my life. I don’t want to get into the details, at least not here, but it makes me proud and happy to see this stand against it.

    So much love.

  • em says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    you are beautiful and so is your heart. proud to have you as my friend.

  • Alicia {The Charity Wedding} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Amen! I think it is so important for strong, courageous, gorgeous and talented people to share stories like this to prove to kids that you can beat it, it does get better, and you are not what those awful people say you are. Kudos to you for being brave enough to share!

  • CC says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I think it’s awesome that you posted this. Things seem to have gotten 10X worse then they were when I was in school and it’s scary for me to think of what I might be dealing with today had I been the dorky kid I was of yesterday now. OH BOY! I had a bully-well actually two that worked together. I actually feel I’m lucky that I only had one considering what a dorky little girl I was. It makes me sad that evil kids out there have nothing better to do then to make someone else s life miserable. If they could see you now huh? How ignorant and pathetic bullies actually are.

  • Layla says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    You brought me to tears, Jacin. You’re just so strong and beautiful and talented…..it’s stupid, I know…and I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I never would have assumed that you’d been through anything like this. I can’t see why anyone would be mean to you, now or ever. But you’re right, people are mean. And I think people don’t equate their judgmental nature with being mean, but they’re wrong. It’s mean, it’s pointless, and it’s ugly. I’m so thankful to know you. Much love to you, Jacin. <3

  • Serena {Pretty Fluffy} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Fabulous, courageous post.
    Bullying always says much more about the person doing the bullying than it does about the victim. Same with online comments or social media snark. The kicker is that spreading kindness and accepting others brings more happiness into your life than being mean! If only more people would realise that.

  • Sofia {Brancoprata} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Thank you so much for this post Jacin… I was lucky enough to never be a victim of bullying and I always was nice to everybody in school… this is how I was raised…. be nice to people and they will be nice to you… this is what I tell my nieces, now they are growing up! Always be nice and friendly to our colleagues, friends, school staff, etc!! Unfortunately not everybody does this and today even here in Portugal we have terrible stories about bullying! Why?… I don’t understand the need a person has to be mean to others… i really don’t understand… and yes, you are so right about social media & bullying. We should all take a step down and try to make things better!

  • Amanda@Stellina Events says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Great post Jacin. I was bullied in summer camp and high school so I completely understand. How can I help and get involved?

  • Erin * Sparkle & Hay says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    i’m with you all the way - beautiful post & such an important cause!!!


  • Aleah + Nick says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Amen, Jacin. Childhood and youth in general can be so amazing and wonderful and so awful and difficult at the same time thanks to mean kids who have no right to do or say the things that they do. What’s most important is that it has made you a stronger person. A stronger woman who is supportive of others and just wonderful. Growing up I had the camaraderie of early-age ballet and several sports and activities- namely soccer up until college. Early on teams were so close and it was just so much fun. Later in life girls just got to be so mean-spirited and nasty, something I could just never understand. While my love of soccer didn’t dim my view of my peers did. The snarkiness and just evil that some radiated was baffling, and still is.

    If I look at some of those people now it’s pathetic: they’re unhappy and still mean. Karma always comes around. We can only hope that they will eventually grow up and teach their children to be kind and beneficial members to our society. Don’t they know it feels good to be nice? :)
    Thanks for sharing with us all and know that you are not the only one who feels this way. Aleah
    *By the way, you sure were one cute little girl!

  • Lena says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    I think bullying has always been a very real danger, but it seems that recently, it’s spiraled completely out of control. Hearing these stories, I realize that although my experience was personally painful, we each struggled with bullying. My bowl cut (why did we do that?!) didn’t help, though.

    Thank you, Jacin–for being so endlessly brave. And for standing up.

  • Victoria Derrick says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Thank you for putting this out there and sharing your story. It breaks my heart to read what you went thru growing up, but it made you who you are today. I love everything I know about you and especially your bowl cut. Some days it’s hard, but it helps to take a deep breathe and smile. I’ll do what I can, much love!

  • Kristine {In Love, Engaged} says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Thank for such an honest, personal, and courageous post, Jacin. Sometimes it seems that problems like bullying are so prevalent and widespread that there will never be an end to it. But it’s amazing what can happen when people stand up together, in unity, and say ENOUGH. History has shown that there is power in numbers, solidarity, bravery, and GOODNESS. Thanks for standing up and saying something. I know your actions will spur many, many others. xo

  • mckay says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    jacin- thank you so much for sharing and big hugs to you. it definitely struck a nerve (personally and otherwise). this past year I worked with a family who lost their daughter because of the bullying she experienced in middle school. as bad as I thought the bullying was towards me and others back in the day I can’t even imagine dealing with it now. xoxo

  • Kaella Wilson says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    This is a beautiful statement of courage. Thank you for sharing it with us. I’m standing with you!

  • stacie says on January 9, 2012 Reply

    Jacin you are an amazing woman, then and now! love you!

  • Samantha Moore says on January 10, 2012 Reply

    First i want to say that i just came accross your blog and love it! so creative! By the way, you probably don’t remember this, but when i was in elementary or middle school i was over at your house (probably for a clarinet lesson with your mom or something) and you taught me how to braid hair, and helped me practice braiding on barbie dolls, I thought you were the coolest teenager ever! lol. But anyway, i am glad to see you are doing so well and i will have to look through more of your blog posts. i also think it is great that you are doing this awareness on bullying. As a social worker and having worked in a school for a year i have seen how bad bullying is still (and now through social networking also) and the toll it takes on people. so good job on all you are doing to raise awareness!

  • Kiele Gregoire says on January 10, 2012 Reply

    what an amazing post. look how many comments already! thank you so much for sharing this. you are a beautiful person and i was so sad to think about anyone doing any of those things to you. but i’m so happy to learn more about you and what makes you, you :) i totally appreciate and admire who you are, and that’s just from the slice i know from the online world. thank you for being you and sharing this, being a little “different”, very unique, and so compassionate- i want to be just like you when i grow up. thanks for making us all think more about bullying and opening our eyes to all the many circumstances it can happen within.

  • Kiele Gregoire says on January 10, 2012 Reply

    p.s. i LOVE your name. if my husband’s name wasn’t Jason, i would insist that we name our first child jacin. and i hear ya on the boy names for girls, everyone (mainly boys) would always repeat it and question it for me, as if i didn’t understand my own name, “wait, KYLE as in the boy KYLE? your name is KYLE? Are you sure it’s not Kylie?” So, anyway, i feel ya, and i love ya jacin! love, kiele

  • Suezi Gurzi says on January 10, 2012 Reply

    Thank you for sharing this very personal post! I just found your blog through Young House Love. so glad I stumbled over here. Bullying just sucks! Just makes my heart break knowing that so many kids/adults are hurt by such hatred!
    My favorite saying came from a book/movie this summer and I tell my kids this every day…
    You are smart
    You are kind
    You are important!
    Right on for standing up and standing together to raise awareness about bullying!

  • kat | kat hanafin photography says on January 12, 2012 Reply

    Oh! Jacin! I’m so sorry you went through this. It’s not fun when people are mean… I’ve definitely known the feeling I was being made fun of through tweets by others. :( its a sickening feeling. I can only be who I am, as only all of us can. We should celebrate each other a little more, and be nice, all the time. I think you’re amazing, and this post made me cry thinking of how much they hurt you. It makes us stronger, and we win :)

  • Stephanie// The Vintage Modern Wife says on January 12, 2012 Reply

    Thank you for posting his, Jacin. I think so many times people are bullied and never want to speak about it because- you’re right, let’s face it- it IS embarrassing. However, I commend you :) I was bullied a lot in middle school because of my weight (I was 120 lbs and 5’0″- not fat at all) and therefore I really became aware of my body and started hating it. Add to he mix curly hair that I didn’t know how to keep from being frizzy to wearing glasses, and you have a total dork. Not to mention- I, too, played an instrument- the violin. But now I see that those bullies were just insecure themselves and are completely vapid. I’m glad to be a unique individual with a personality (and a sexy hubby that thinks I’m the hottest woman ever).

  • Ashley @ Lemon and Lavender says on January 13, 2012 Reply

    Thank you for sharing something so personal, I’m so sorry you had to experience that in your childhood. Children and teens even adults can be so brutal. We really need to learn to embrace differences. XOXO

  • Faith says on January 13, 2012 Reply

    i am not sure how in the world i missed this post … but i did and quite frankly i am sad i did.

    i am so sorry you had to deal with that growing up, i did as well. middle school and elementary school was not fun for me either because of all the bullying.

    i am so happy that you are bringing awareness to this in blog world because it can be just as bad online … which is horrible because people deal with so much and then to be bullied by someone behind a computer, really? what gives anyone the right?

    thank you for sharing your story and sharing this organization. i hope that with bringing awareness to this issue we can lessen the amount of young kids who give up and commit suicide.

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