Lovely Advice: Reflecting on What’s Important vs. Social Media Burnout

Happy Monday everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend. We arrived back in San Francisco late last night after a wonderful, family and friend-filled 9 days back east. It’s always so bittersweet taking that (almost 7 hour) flight back to San Francisco, because we really miss all of our friends and family out here. But we know this is the right place for us to be now, and we’re trying to live more in the moment rather than on the edge of our seat thinking of “when are we moving back home”.

On that same note, every time I go back east or have a jam-packed weekend, I always get back to thinking of my blog, and what to do with it next. After spending so much time in the “real” world, where blog comments don’t matter and #FF on twitter is the equivalent to having a real beer at happy hour with closest friends, or a glass of wine sitting by the fire with family, it’s so hard to get back in to the online world. Don’t get me wrong - I love this little internet home I’ve resided in for going on 3 years… but sometimes I do get the feeling of “why am I doing this?” when there are so many real life moments that take priority. A few weeks back I spent an entire day in the ER, with 2 CAT scans and a bit of a scare, but left with a healthy prognosis. Last week while at breakfast with my parents and Pat, my mom told me one of her best friends has stage 4 cancer, and she doesn’t know how much time she has left. A month or so before that, one of her beloved teacher colleagues passed away and he was only 28 or so. She was (and still is) heartbroken about it. It left me thinking about how much time and effort I spend online, sometimes worrying about what others are doing, or getting bummed if a post I spent lots of time on didn’t get the love I hoped it would. Tweeting, updating facebook and commenting on blogs takes a lot of time and dedication, and I think only those who live in this blogger neighborhood with me would understand. I have found myself taking a step back to think about what is most important in life, and as hard as it is to say it, blogging isn’t it. This isn’t my job, but it is a passion of mine, and something I’ve enjoyed doing for quite some time. The blog has evolved from my personal wedding planning journey, to daily ideas and inspirations, and things I see and do that I think are interesting to share with all of you. And I think I put a ton of pressure on myself sometimes, to make sure it’s something worth your while to visit every day.

Anyone who lives in this blog world (I hope) can agree that blogging isn’t easy. You try to come up with a new idea that hasn’t been touched on yet, but then see it’s been posted in 5 other places. You find your own ideas and blog series being re-done elsewhere, which is frustrating, but you get over it because that other blogger might be thinking the same thing. You see people complaining about mason jars and trends like crazy, and feel like you have to defend those things for brides who want to use them in their wedding. In fact, you actually see people complaining about lots of things, and it kind of drives you nuts. It’s a hard balance to strike - working in tunnel vision and not worrying about what everyone else is doing, but then realizing when you don’t pay attention, you’ve gone and done something someone else just did, when you thought you were so clever for coming up with it yourself. I’ve grown so overly tired of the narcissistic people who are constantly flooding my twitter feed with “me me me” and those who constantly complain that it’s almost gotten the best of me, making me want to run to the nearest exit and never look back.

But then… you remember the amazing people you have met. Yes, real life, human friends who go beyond the @ sign on twitter. One of my closest friends happens to be another blogger in this world, and we treasure each other’s friendship because we speak the same blogger language. We can call each other at midnight if the blog goes down, or text each other if we think of something fun to post about. I met another blogger for happy hour last time I was back east, and we ended up laughing and talking for hours about the blog, life, crafting, and future plans. I’ve booked several weddings through the blog, too, though I would hardly call these lovely blogger brides “clients” - they have become friends. All of these friendships are so important because they are the light at the end of the blogger burnout tunnel that keep you going, or, understandingly walk you to the sideline if you’re ready for a break. You also remember the emails you’ve received from other bloggers/aspiring event designers who are in the same boat, and you remember the advice you have given them to get themselves to the next level. Sometimes you need to remember to keep that advice and give it back to yourself every once in a while. Believe it or not, it does come in handy :)

Last week I had hackers in my blog, and I’m still dealing with the aftermath of possibly having to move to a new server and getting things re-coded on the back end. (Don’t worry, there are no viruses to be worried about). Not gonna lie, part of me was thinking “maybe I just drop it and disappear from the online world all together”. It was even kind of enticing. But then I remembered those friends I have met, and the good things I can accomplish with the blog outside of providing DIY ideas and inspiration. And that kept me going, at least for now.

Long story short, don’t let the online world get the best of you. Find your balance and put a plan in place to make it work. You’d be surprised how many others might feel the same way and feel relieved if you take a day off every once in a while. To them, it means it’s OK to do the same. As Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Take time and do what’s best for you, online and off. Think about what really makes you happy, even the little things. And make those little things happen. It will make your road trip through life a much happier journey in the end, and give you something to blog about in the interim ;)

  • Jessica says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Finding a balance in the blog world is hard but it’s so rewarding! And the fact that you quoted Ferris Bueller just makes me love you more. Wish you lived closer so you could meet up with all of us DC bloggers next month. :(

  • Tamara Nicole says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Amen girly! We just got back from a 2 week vaca in Italy. I didn’t have my cell phone, didn’t blog, comment, tweet or anything and it was SO relaxing! But now I am back and excited to get back into reading blogs to see what’s going on. I agree balance is HUGE and I know NOW (after a few years) NOT to put blogging, facebook or tweeting over time with my husband. It’s not worth it. BUT there are so many inspiring creative people out there in blogland that I love. It’s a hard thing to balance, and not be sad when I lose a follower, etc (cheesy but so true!).

    Thanks for this seriously! Glad I am not the only one!

  • Mrs. Limestone says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Great post.

    I tend to think the people who are bloggers in their spare time put too much pressure on ourselves. Its a hard balance to strike. When you figure it out, please let me know the secret :)

    PS: Having a real life blogger bestie is pretty sweet. My real life friends think Im bonkers.

  • Kristina says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Perfect post. I’m choosing to live out my life LESS online these days…for all the reasons you mentioned above. However, if it weren’t for online, we wouldn’t have come in contact with each other. For that, I’m grateful :)

  • Keisha (with a K) says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Truth. I have those same feelings. Thanks for the change in perspective!

  • Alicia @CharityWedding says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    A perfect post which also came at the right time! I have been struggling with this a lot lately and overall I do feel burnt out and in all reality, pretty much over it. I am so busy lately and I feel so much guilt if I don’t post which is craziness. It is a hobby and I shouldn’t worry about it or sacrifice time spent with actual people because of it. I need a break and I have decided to take it and I am working really hard to feel good about that.

  • Rebecca Fitzgerald says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Well said Jacin. Love your blog, but if you decided to focus on what is truly important in life, we would all understand. Sometimes we just need to take a moment and focus on what is truly important.

  • Tristan Tuttle says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Thanks for your perspective on this! I’m new to the blogosphere and I’m struggling to build my business while still investing in my outside life. It’s nice to hear that I’m not the only one who struggles!

  • Faith says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    i’m pissed that someone hacked into your lovely blog. that makes me upset. i love your blog and think you are incredible. you have no idea how much i wish your blog was around when i was planning in 2009, haha. but still i stop by because i think you have incredible ideas and your blog is refreshing. and besides sometimes you even give us recipes, decor ideas, etc, so i feel it is full of so many things that even past brides can enjoy.

    keep doing what you’re doing. the ones who love it will always be here, and at the end of the day that is truly what you work so hard for.

    but yes, finding balance with blogging is hard. sometimes i would like to end it and sometimes i wish i never got started, but i get some type of satisfaction from doing it so i will continue until my fingers no longer work :)

  • Rhiannon {Hey Gorg} says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Clearly we share a brain :)

    Hugs! xo

  • Libby says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    I’m glad to hear that you’re healthy, and enjoyed a wonderful trip back east. We’ve had perfect fall weather recently and I’m constantly forcing myself to get outside and smell the leaves! I admire your philosophy on blogging and hope that you continue to share all the lovely delights in your life with us.

  • birdie to be says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Agreed! I love your sweet blog and every post you create! Great post! And I love the photo round up.

  • Koru Kate ⎨Koru Wedding⎬ says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    I adore you for working a Ferris Bueller quote into this wise post :-) With the holidays very, very quickly approaching, my focus will be less & less online & more & more on my hubs, family & friends. It’s hard to strike that perfect balance in life but the holidays always put my family & friends front & center. Best wishes to everyone as they search for the perfect balance~

  • Kate/MagnoliaRouge says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Beautifully written and as you know from our convo last night I am in total agreement with you. You need to step back and realise there is life beyond the computer screen!!! Do what you have to do for you!!

  • Little Red Purse says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Great advice. Blogging is way more work than it seems when you’re just scrolling through the list, it’s good to take a day off and get perspective. Hope you had a great trip visiting with the fam!

    xo L.

  • Abi says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Such sweet words… and every bit of it is true! I roll my eyes and say it’s a love/hate/love relationship!

  • Stephanie (Bellissima Bride) says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Great advice Jacin! It’s time to put in real “face time” instead of relying on FaceBook or other social media energy suckers. :)

  • Lena says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    So. Perfectly. Said. I used to tell my FB-obsessed girlfriends that it still happened even if there’s no photo to prove it, and that your life doesn’t need likes. Finding a balance in a world like wedding blogging ain’t easy, but it’s so important.


  • hena tayeb says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    I have thought the same so many times.. I have blogged and stopped blogging numerous times.. same goes for tweeting.. but unfortunately the world we are in now and the business we have choose for ourselves requires it.. and so after quitting and unquitting I have come to the conclusion that I gotta make it work.. it is the job I signed up for..

  • Cassandra Eldridge says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Perfect post, and certainly one that i will be re-reading again and again. Thank you for taking the time to write it.

  • Erin * Sparkle & Hay says on November 14, 2011 Reply


  • Chelsea @ {twotwentyone} says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Very well said, Miss Jacin. I spent Friday and Saturday without twitter or blogging and it felt nice. It was nice to get out and experience real life. It may also help that I have a phone that only calls and texts. Hah. You said everything perfectly. Blogging and social media are great ways to connect with others, but it’s important to connect with our real lives as well.

  • Shorely Chic says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Oh Jacin, I’ve felt the exact same way at times, and have actually stepped back a bit from constant twittering, blogging everyday, etc… It isn’t everything but it’s fun, and you need to keep it fun so whatever that means to you, make it work that way (did that make sense? just ate a hot fudge sundae and in a food coma). I love what you do, and you’re super duper inspiring to me whether you have the blog or not, I’ll keep following you somehow!

    Next time you’re back east, can we try and meet up!?

  • Shorely Chic says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Oh, and I’m so glad you had a nice time back home and that your prognosis was a healthy one, scary! Your photo collage is so nice :)

  • Anni says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Yes to all of this…

    it’s such a complex subject, and I think it deserves attention. On one hand, I think we really do live in a world obsessed with documentation. Checking in, updating statuses, texting, taking iPhone photos to upload instantly… I don’t know about you, but I get much greater pleasure and relaxation from a night out if I’m not thinking “did I get a good enough photograph of that for my blog?”

    And yet… there are so many awesome things about blogging as well. Operation Layla is probably number one in my mind, as well as my friendship with many of the people active in it. People that I’ve now met in real life, who I’ve been able to connect with and share my struggles with. They’ve supported me in launching my photography business, in my doubts & struggles, and I have to say I don’t think there’s even really an “internet friend” distinction there anymore.

    So, to balance! And having real life beers with internet friends.

  • Jessica Beer says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    So agree that you need to find a balance, and it isn’t always easy. I want you to know that I truly enjoy your blog and the next time you’re in DC, I’d love to meet up for a drink so we can have real life memories!

  • Megan says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    I am so glad you decided not to just disappear all together. Your one of my fave twitter friends, I’ve never even met you, but I love how you respond like we have. I hope you find a nice balance that will prove positive for your life. I would miss you if you were to leave :)

  • Aleah + Nick Valley says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Very well said! We’re quite happy you didn’t just disappear but we feel you.
    After our unexpected week from hell last week it certainly puts life in perspective.
    As event planners and lifestyle writers social media is just a platform of what we do, but it makes what we do that much more enjoyable because of the wonderful people we meet and the inspiration we put out there.

    It’s easy to feel like you don’t want to keep up - but then take a look at Pinterest and seeing your original recipes or weddings or DIY project pinned over and over brings a smile. Inspiring people, if even in the smallest fashion, along social media channels is something you can’t replicate and something that others can’t do….so take a week off if you need to and recharge.
    We all do it. xo

  • Casie {@TheNameIsCasie} says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    Ive been going through the SAME thing recently — I love what I do. I love blogging. I love the people — the FRIENDS — I have met through Twitter, FB, and all avenues of this business. But…Im exhausted of those who feel the need to comment just to see their own words “submitted” — and those who seemingly have forgotten Rule #1 in Life : “If you don’t have anything nice to say (or worthwhile) — then…don’t say it.” Getting Burnt out is ESPECIALLY easy after any time spent away. People are seemingly quick to forget that you’re there when…well, you’re off living your REAL life, lol. And it truthfully had me wondering…WHY do I do this…if Im not MISSED when Im gone? I dont know that I have that answer entirely — but I do what I love, and I love THIS. And…it makes me happy to connect to those who I’ve found, and shared life with — and formed friendship with that are much tighter than even some of those Real Life ones. ♥ You’re one of the true-blue-good ones, Jacin! :)

  • Miriam Corona says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    I can relate to the burn out… I’ve secretly been on a blog break for a few months and there’s no telling when we’ll get back together, but I’ve been able to maintain my twitter presence and for me it’s those awesome connections that keep me going.
    I hope that you are able to find the right work-life balance. I think if you stay focused and do what makes you happy that will reflect in what you do and write.
    Glad you’re sticking it out :)

  • Liesl says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    What a FANTASTIC post and so well said…I related SO much to so many things in this post! Thank you for sharing all of this! I simply adore your blog and you and am glad you are a part of it all, but completely understand the other sides of it too! You made so many wonderful points and I’m so glad you are sticking it out and still a part of what I call blongland because you are a truly wonderful part of it, Jacin, as is your lovely blog! Sorry about your hackers too, but glad you are sorting it all out!

    Liesl :)

  • Em says on November 14, 2011 Reply

    I so feel you on this, lady.

  • Amanda Bratton says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    Your words ring so true ….I find myself being burnt out lately from all the work and invitation design and sometimes those few who dont appreciate what others do for them. I think thats what gets me down the most… Not hearing back from someone after youve spent months and countless hours creating this unique invitation , wedding, product, or whatebrr it may be for them. One of our brides that I have become close with commented today that a thank you goes a long way and some people need to learn better manners.
    With that said ( I have a point I swear) I just wanted to say thank you for all that you do for others! Whether it’s posting someone’s product on your blog (thanks!) or finding new trends for brides, or the work you put into finding the most unique and one of a kind ideas! I read your posts and follow your blog almost every day and each post is truly inspiring. You are one of a kind and we are so thankful that!!!

  • Brit @ Landlocked Bride says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    So spot on. You have to do what is right for you and not worry about what anyone else is doing.

    And, ir’s important to remeber that you don’t have to follow everyone, especially on Twitter or even Facebook. Keep it to a group of individuals who lift you up and don’t bring you down.

  • valery says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    I’ve struggled with this too, especially since the wedding. Sometimes I think I am dragging my feet with the recaps because I’m not 100% sure what to keep up with after they’re done! I also think I get burnt out of the reading/commenting faster than I do of the actual posting. The posting I like to do for myself (because god knows there is only a handful of people reading) but it’s hard for me to remember to comment instead of just moving onto the next one in my Reader view.
    I’ve found one thing that helps me when I need a “break” is to have some pre-planned/scheduled posts to fill in while I “take a week off.” (I’m sure you already have a bunch in line at all times?) It helps lessen the ‘guilt’ and enables the break. I would miss LLD though, absolutely…it is one of the very few inspiration blogs I still read, and I think it’s because of the connection I feel to you (i.e. you’re a real person that I started reading before LLD, not a team of faceless people). xo

  • Nicole (@BigDayfor10K) says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    THIS is why I love you… and your blog. I’m right there with you. xo

  • dancy says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    Well first of all I’m glad to hear you’re ok. Any time spent in the ER is scary. I’m so sorry for your mother’s friend & his family. 28? That’s just soooo young to lose your life. It’s sad to think of how much he & his family/friends will miss together.

    That said, you know I’m all about stepping away. I’ve done it a bunch of times. I’ve even backed off facebook for a while. Most of all - I can tell you, people will STILL be here. We don’t care if you miss a WW on Twitter or if you post every single day, or once a week. I think cutting back is prob a good idea but I don’t think you should lose the blog entirely - it’s great for your brand & event biz… also, I’d miss you. ;)

  • Laura *You Stir Me* says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    so incredibly important. I can’t tell you how reassuring it is to hear bloggers like you have the same problems and revelations that the little bloggers like me have! Glad you are feeling better and thankful you shared your thoughts and experiences with us! Love the heck out of ya:)

  • Ariella says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    If I do recall, I once wrote on my blog about how I felt guilty that I couldn’t post all the time and that I knew my readers wanted more than I could give them and I believe that you reminded me that it’s OK if you take a break or disappear from online life.

    I have neglected my wedding blog for some time now. I absolutely love writing about weddings. In an old notebook I found printouts for Ed. Asst. jobs at wedding magazines that I applied to 5 years ago. Weddings has always been something I’ve enjoyed and I finally got a chance to write about them. But, my schedule just doesn’t warrant it. It is a hobby and one that I wanted to eventually turn into a job, but it’s not my job right now. I already have two of those. With those two jobs, it’s hard enough to find time just for me. Hell, I don’t even have time to read my favorite blogs let alone post one of my own. But I also write for a living and I rarely get to write anything that interests me. Blogging is my only outlet for writing about things I enjoy. But on the flip side, because I write for a living, by the end of the day, I don’t want to write anything.

    I’d actually love to give up Facebook too, but like you, I live hundreds of miles away from friends and family. Facebook is virtually the only way I keep in touch with many of them. If I stopped using it, I’d be even more out of the loop.

    I think we feel guilty because we’re a part of a community and by not being an active participant in that community, we feel like we’re not pulling our weight. But we all know how it feels to have to break away. It doesn’t matter if you’re a small-time blogger or a big time blogger, sometimes you need to step away from the computer and back into real life. And the people that really care about you, as a person and not just a virtual voice, will understand.

  • andrea says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    Thank you for writing this post. I actually just launced my blog on Friday and even though I ‘prepared’ myself, I can totally imagine getting overwhelmed by your own commitments. You’ve got a beautiful and creative blog and I enjoy reading it, but I understand and appreciate your honesty. The blog world wouldn’t exist without the real world…so we’ve got to enjoy it! =)

  • Monique {Oh Darling Bride} says on November 15, 2011 Reply

    I was reading this morning and thought, ‘how is Jacin reading my mind?!’

    I ghost write blogs for a living, manage other people’s/brands’ social media communities and still try to fit in my blog and fan page before and after work. I’ve been feeling washed out and recently, disenchanted with social media. It’s making me rethink how I spend my time.

    Yes, sometimes I’m also tempted to say “enough” but like you, I’ve met lovely people, made friends and received heart-warming compliments (the best being from brides who have told me Oh Darling Bride helped them plan their wedding).

    It’s hard but I’m trying to be strict about my online time, only commenting when I feel moved to comment, setting up an auto-response on my email (to buy me some admin time) and, hardest of all, trying to shake my urgency to have a new post up every second day. I think I’m getting there this week :)

    Happy blogging. I’m so glad you didn’t chuck it in.

  • Amma // Beyond Beyond says on November 16, 2011 Reply

    Not much else to add to the wisdom already shared but you are and everyone else is write balance is key!

  • Laura @ Saying "I do" says on November 16, 2011 Reply

    I knew there was a reason I came here today! I’ve had immense trouble keeping up with all my favorite blogs lately, mostly because we got a puppy and I came to realize that SHE absolutely was more important to me than making sure I update my blog or read everyone else’s blog. I need to spend time with her. I’m nearing the end of my wedding recaps and a part of me is relieved and a part of me is panicked…because I’m not sure where to go from here once I’m done with the recaps! Thank you for validating the same things I’m feeling. You have been an blogger inspirational to me, and you still are!

  • Kiele Gregoire says on November 16, 2011 Reply

    so funny that we were both blogging about this. i’m not exactly sure of the purpose or the end, if there is one, of this blogging world, but i am sure that it’s there to connect us and enrich our lives. we just have to keep our priorities. which is so tough. i think you’re exactly right, that by making a plan, taking breaks, and allowing ourselves to follow our hearts in the real world, we can leave the blog to be more of a way to share with others, and less a way to make our selves feel pressured. your blog is so much fun, and gives me perspective. that perspective if even more enhanced when i see how you are able to live your “real” life in the driver’s seat, and let the blog hang out in the back. that’s such a hard task. and we’ll always be learning, but i’m right along with you and i’m so glad to have such an awesome person validate what i feel.

  • Paper Moss says on November 16, 2011 Reply

    Amen!! It’s hard to not put pressure on yourself with something like a blog that you care about! You phrased it all so well- I feel like reading that was equal to a support group session! Thank you for all of the beautiful inspiration that you share daily and for making the world more beautiful through your events and your pretty smile!! :) Love ya girl!

  • Jenny ~ SOSN says on November 18, 2011 Reply

    Great post and some wonderful advice. As of late, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed with tweeting, facebooking, commenting, writing for the blog and still having a life offline. Your insights are inspirational and its great to know that everyone has those moments.

  • Mel {The Oceanside Bride} says on November 18, 2011 Reply

    Awww love you & love your wise words as always! We’ve chatted a bit about this before and I’m still feeling overwhelmed especially after the wedding- juggling the blog, newlywed life, job, business, new Etsy store, etc. I still love my blog and like you and reminded often of the great friends and folks I’ve met along the way so am still doing my best to keep up with it but certainly not letting it stress me out. It feels good shifting focus to the important people in my life and other things I’d like to pursue and unfortunately that might mean putting a few other items on the back burner for now. If they aren’t there when I’m ready to “pick them back up” oh well. Not sweatin’ it! =) xoxo

  • The Perfect Palette says on November 18, 2011 Reply

    well said, Jacin. Finding the balance between wedding blogging and the real world is challenging for sure. I know how you feel. When you have passion for blogging, it’s easy to feel sucked in and neglect everything else that matters. Good luck trying to strike that perfect balance. I think it’s something we all try hard to acheive. You’re not alone :)

  • Serena {Pretty Fluffy} says on November 19, 2011 Reply

    What a wonderful post. I’ve been blogging for over a year and finding the balance is hard. I just spent my whole Saturday working on blog posts for the coming week. I’m super proud of them, but also I feel sad that I didn’t use my day off for seeing my real friends. Thank you for a reassuring post that reminded me we’re all in this together x

  • aspiring kennedy says on November 19, 2011 Reply

    I was just thinking about this. I always feel that if my blog is great, it means the “real” things in life have slowed down… and vice versa. It’s hard to have it all, and that’s why I’m having to learn that it’s okay if I don’t post everyday. My blogging isn’t authentic that way anyway… Loved your post. It articulated some really honest upsides/downsides of this crazy little subculture of blogging.

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