I’ve had this post in my head now for a while and haven’t been quite sure how to say it, but I’ll give it a try now. I’ve seen so many of my lovely blogger friends posting about this lately that I just had to say something. Of course, hindsight is always 20×20!
Many of you have been posting lately about how you haven’t been accepted as a blogger for certain websites, or your dress isn’t as pretty as someone else’s, or you can’t afford the platinum weddings you’ve seen around. This really gets me down, because from the outside, I can see how awesome you are, but I think it’s hard in this busy world to sometimes see it yourself.
Case in point: my hair trial. I love Carrie Underwood, don’t we all? She’s a fearless female paving the way for her own success, and she’s gorgeous at that. So when I was choosing inspiration for my own wedding hair, I brought in the photo to the right:
And you know what I learned? I don’t have Carrie Underwood’s face. :)
What I’m trying to say, is, there is a lot of inspiration out there. There are countless blogs, websites, and images to help you determine your own focus for the big day. But you can’t let yourself get caught up in all the buzz so much that you lose sight of what you started out to do, which is plan a wedding that reflects the two of you as a couple in a way that is meaningful and memorable (and lovely, of course).
There’s always going to be someone who doesn’t necessarily like what you do - because we all have different taste, and that’s life. But you can’t let those things cloud your focus for what you’re setting out to do, because those people, simply put, aren’t YOU.
Easier said than done, right? But it’s true! Some people might not like my canning jar logo, or a bathing suit I posted earlier. Not many people will easily appeal to the masses and that’s the best part about being unique. I find myself trying to narrow my niche (both for my business and blog) everyday, and continue to gravitate towards the nautical, rustic and textured images… and have recently coined the term “shoreline chic” as my inspiration for all lovely things I find. And although this might not appeal to everyone, it’s still OK. It’s challenging and frightening to put yourself out there and not pretend to be someone you’re not because you think others might not like what you’re doing. But by being yourself you can relax (somewhat) and start to really focus on what makes you you, or in the spirit of weddings, what is meaningful to you as a couple. And that, my friends, is the most important thing. Once you have that figured out, the rest will start to fall in to place. And if it doesn’t? Well, that’s what you have all the rest of the blogs for (like me!); to provide you with inspiration to keep you moving along (and of course you’ll always have a personal cheering squad here in California rooting you along the way) :)
…So in getting back to the title of this post, whether you’re accepted to a wedding hive, or have the amazing, expensive dress, or your ring is bigger than hers; just try at some points to take a deep breath and remember what this wedding is all about; and that is you, your partner, and saying I do. Because 20 years down the line, that will have been the most important part.
~jacin
{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }
Wonderful post :)
love!!!
Love this post! SO TRUE!
This is wonderful, thank you. I'm hardly touching the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all things wedding planning related, but I've already realized this/wrote a similar post. It's about you and your fiancé, no one else.. it should be every bride's mantra!
perfectly put :)
This is an awesome post. Being new to the wedding blogging world, the 16-year-old in me wants to conform to what everyone else is doing because, well, that's what everyone else is doing. But, that's not me. I'm not stylish, or chic and bling is the last thing on my priority list and that's OK. There are others out there like me that will find value in my t-shirt and jeans-wearing ways.
As a writer too, it's hard because you want your work to be accepted. It's a blow on a few different levels, but that's part of the industry.
Thanks for posting this. I think it's going to make a lot of people smile.
And if you love nautical rustic, you would LOVE my ceremony location. It's a maritime museum with all of these old boats and antique collections. My mother said she didn't like it because, "it's too rustic," which is precisely the reason why I did.
thank you thank you thank you for writing this <3
I concur! Great post!
wonderful post! :)
I totally agree! As Bride's we do what we can do and what we like within our budget and that's all we can really do. When you think about it we are all really lucky to have a wedding at all. Some don't even get the chance.
AMEN sister.
Well said. Your wedding isn't a contest nor is it a race. How many brides design their wedding to get featured? Countless. I am tired of seeing the posts by other bloggers with headlines like, "How to Get Your Blog Chosen for an Editorial". How about how to make your wedding a lasting memory for you and your betrothed? Or how to make your wedding an intimate heart felt affair for you and your guests? It bothers me that the meaning gets lost in the "decor" and "editorial" translation…I am very happy you wrote this posts. I'm so very proud of you young lady!
What a great post ! and very well said :)
Your post made me smile from ear to ear! So true…and it helps to be reminded of this now and then during the planning process! :-)
Jacin, this is an absolutely incredible post. It's a wonderful reminder to brides not to get too caught up in what anyone else thinks (or spends) on their wedding, and amazing advice to bloggers, too! Do what you love-it shows!
Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend!
Wow, I don't think I could have put it better myself! It's becoming so competitive out there, everyone wants to out-do someone else with their wedding… at the end of the day, the wedding day isn't much different than any other day other than you come into it single and walk away as a husband/wife. People who run off and elope at city hall are just as married as those who spent 1 Million dollars on their wedding.
of course you already knew all of that… LOL
so true…great post jacin!
Not only appropriate for ones wedding but life and business in general. Very inspiring!
Aw, thank you for these sweet, encouraging words Jacin!
Great advice and heart warming!!
i think i might have to share this with every bride to be i know!! such a great & meaningful post!
i think i might have to share this with every bride to be i know!! such a great & meaningful post!
i think i might have to share this with every bride to be i know!! such a great & meaningful post!
i think i might have to share this with every bride to be i know!! such a great & meaningful post!
i think i might have to share this with every bride to be i know!! such a great & meaningful post!
i think i might have to share this with every bride to be i know!! such a great & meaningful post!
This is the perfect post. I think it's very easy for some people to get lost in all the details that they forget about staying true to them as a couple!
By the way, saw these and totally thought of you especially after you dubbed your style as "shoreline chic"
http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?search_query=beach+wedding&utm_source=bronto&utm_medium=email&utm_term=+Wharfside+Wedding+&utm_content=etsy_weddings_010511&utm_campaign=etsy_weddings_010511
and
http://www.etsy.com/listing/61322715/beach-wedding-starfish-pomander-kissing?utm_source=bronto&utm_medium=email&utm_term=Image+-+http%3A%2F%2Fwww.etsy.com%2Fview_listing.php%3Flisting_id%3D61322715&utm_content=etsy_weddings_010511&utm_campaign=etsy_weddings_010511
OMG Jaci,n i posted this image a while back on my blog cause i love that hair due so much!!!! ;))))
And obviously you are so right on the advice!!!
Bravo, my dear. Just like a marriage, there is no one single definition of what a wedding should be - we're all different and all have something to give the world.
As someone who is just starting out in the blogging family, I needed this little reminder to stay true to my silly little self and not worry about needing to keep up with everything else around me. I'm pretty ok:)
AND - I too brought in the Carrie Underwood hair picture as well as the famous Lauren Conrad hair style to my bridal trial. I ended up combining the two styles and adding my own twist to it - it looked completely different than I thought I had wanted but now I can't imagine having anything different. Take risks but make sure to be yourself!
Congrats on the official launch of Lovely Little Details - go conquer the world:)
i love this. you're so right =)
So true and well-said! We all need to remember this, so thanks for the reminder. :)
:) i couldn't have said it better myself! thanks for this beautiful post!
Jacin, that's why I love been here! Everything is perfect, specially this post. We are unique and that is the way we need to be, and see, and fell, and act… Each on is each one and that is what makes us so special! You are the friend everyone deserve to have around, since alwyas and 4ever. Soooo sweet! Love this post. Love this blog!! Thank you so much! You brazilian friend,
Andrea Mentor
http://sposare.blogspot.com
Very well put. It's so easy to get caught up in getting the the bigger, "better" thing. What's most important is that you are true to your heart!
Great adice that really goes above planning and preparing for the big day. You really covered life and daily struggles of people out there. Whether you're planning your wedding now or have been married (or not) always remember Jacin's advice to think of what's really important. Think of what will be remembered in 20 years. Thanks Jacin!
I say people should just do and plan what will make them happy, well put! There will always be someone out there with a nicer wedding, BUT as long as you are happy it's good. We got married 2 years ago and I LOVED my wedding:-)
so true and so perfectly put - thank you for everything you say, everything you do, and for being a true inspiration to us all! :)
what an important post! thank you for your wise words ;-)
Say it!! Amen!! Love this post!
Amen, sister!
Brilliant post!
Incredibly well written & awesome — just like you!!
what a great post - so well written and I LOVE the term "shoreline chic" by the way :)
This is such an important topic so thanks for taking it on! It's so important to focus on your vision for your own wedding day and let go of the comparisons.
AAAAAmen, sista.
What a lovely post:) I want to write one similar to it because it's so disheartening to hear people get disappointed about their weddings, when daggonit, it's your wedding! It should be a fun, exciting process! Not a debbie downer moment
Brilliant post :-) xx
Love. Love. Love. Ironically I too picked a Carrie Underwood style and I look even less like her than you. Needless to say it didn't work out. It is so easy to keep sucked into the world of wedding blogs and feel like you have to compete. Weddings are stressful enough so it is always wonderful to have a reminder of what it is really all about. Great post.
:) that was beautiful!
So so true! Love this! Thanks ;)