Reflecting on What is Most Important {and a little weekend recap}

by jacin on September 12, 2011

Happy Monday, everyone! Where did the weekend go? I spent mine up in Maine, working away on Mark & Sarah’s wedding, and I cannnnnot wait to show you the images that Stacey Hedman captured! It may be a while before they go up here on LLD, but for now, here’s a sneak peek of the big empty barn before, taken with my iPhone 2 days before the wedding.

I loved how everything came out, but more importantly, Sarah started to cry tears of happiness when I let her and Mark in to see the final result - so in my book, I’d say mission accomplished!

Moving on…

I did a lot of thinking this weekend, as I had a lot of time to myself on Saturday, having spent hours in the barn setting up. If you follow me on facebook, you might know that I was in a car accident a little over a week ago (not my fault, she was on her cell phone and didn’t see me), and though there were bruises and bumps, there were no serious injuries minus a bruised foot that I’m getting checked out this week, so all in all, things were OK. But, after landing in Boston on Thursday, I was alerted by the body shop that my car was totaled, and you know what guys? That totally bummed me out. My lovely little black 2004 civic, tinted windows and all, my first new car that I bought, was done. It put a bit of a damper on things, not gonna lie, I was feeling a bit sad and sentimental.

But then I started thinking: really, in the grand scheme of things, is a totaled car really that important? Reflecting back on 9/11, watching the documentaries and footage as I flew back from Boston to San Francisco yesterday, I remembered what it was like after that fateful day. Ten years later I am still transported to that day; hearing the sirens on TV that will never leave my mind, consoling college friends who had lost loved ones, feeling the salty tears in my eyes. But I also remember neighbors joining together to send provisions to the volunteers in New York City, calling family and loved ones to tell them I love them, and feeling the gratitude for rescue workers rummaging through the rubble to find survivors and start rebuilding the city. People joining together, rekindling the American spirit that was instilled in me as a child - being proud to be American, with a strong work ethic, and treating others with respect. Do you all remember that? Do you remember the feeling that was in the air, the thought of how petty things were less important afterwards, and how you wanted to remember that feeling and take it with you; being grateful for what you had and thinking less about what you didn’t have?

All in all, a totaled car is the least of my worries. And in the wedding world, it’s much of the same - the trends which are so often duplicated, the movers and shakers of the moment, the “mean girls” of wedding land, watching others do things and thinking “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this”, seeing people “win the lottery” every day - do they really matter in the long run? Nope. I realized this weekend, it is so important that we all reflect and remember the positivity that came from 9/11 and take it with us to continually become better people; grateful for our blessings, willing to help others who are less fortunate, and ready to pick up and make things happen. You can post as many inspirational quotes on your blog as you want, but unless you get up and do something, those words will remain just…words. A little reality check once in a while helps keep us on track, along with a piece of humble pie. For me, car or no car, life is good, and will keep moving on. Think about it: long after we’re all gone, what will be remembered of us? The color of our wedding linens, or what we chose to do with our lives to make things better? Though I am all about making things pretty, in the end, I’ll still go for option B, and will try to remind myself of that whenever I get caught up in the madness. So, who’s comin’ with me?

{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

Lisa September 12, 2011 at 7:24 AM

Beautifully said, Jacin :)


Koru Kate September 12, 2011 at 7:26 AM



rabbia September 12, 2011 at 7:29 AM

Hope your ok, beautifully wrote, look in the grand scheme of things, so many stresses dont even matter!!x


Victoria Derrick September 12, 2011 at 7:30 AM

I’m with you, with bells on! Truly wonderful to read this, brightened my day! xo


Chelsea @ {twotwentyone} September 12, 2011 at 7:32 AM

So true.


Laura *You Stir Me* September 12, 2011 at 7:36 AM

totally comin’ with you. As I was walking back from a lovely night with friends last night, I looked up in the sky above my NJ neighborhood and saw two beams of light shooting up through the sky from the World Trade Center site. I felt very fortunate to be so safe and so loved at that moment - it’s important to remember the little things and to throw out the rest of the details that really don’t matter. Thanks for this little reminder, Jacin!


Alison @ The Knotty Bride September 12, 2011 at 7:36 AM

Beautiful, Jacin.


Casie {@TheNameIsCasie# September 12, 2011 at 7:44 AM

I *loved* this post…and needed it too - especially relating it back to our crazy lil’ wedding world! A lot of our “day to day” - in the end - doesn’t matter…especially when you get a glimpse of the Big Picture.  

I watched a piece about the boaters who helped evacuate people from Lower Manhattan as they fled the Financial District.  The Coast Guard put out ONE call for any & all boats who could assist - within *minutes* every Captain that heard the call came - from Ferrys and Tug Boats to personal water crafts.  It was the largest water evacuation in history and everyone helped one another. 

Life is about taking that extra step - doing good, being good - and asking ourselves - “Who can I help today? Who can I make smile?” THAT matters…the rest is just…silly, really.  So….I’m 110% with you…Let’s change the world!


Chandra ~ Oh Lovely Day September 12, 2011 at 7:52 AM

SO true! xx


Abby Grace September 12, 2011 at 7:54 AM

I feel like we all need to clink heavy beer steins and yell “HEAR HEAR!” after this. Amazing piece, especially the bit about inspirational quotes being just words unless you get up off your couch and DO something with those words.


Erin * Sparkle + Hay September 12, 2011 at 7:58 AM

B all the way!!!

p.s. am SO happy that you are ok!!!


Erin Taylor @ Bustle Events September 12, 2011 at 8:02 AM

Agreed!! So 100% true. Life is far the fragile to spend bringing people down and holding grudges!!


Jessica September 12, 2011 at 8:11 AM

You are so right. It’s easy to think of all the little things that make us unhappy, and I’m guilty of it too. But we have to look at the bigger picture.

So sorry about your car though. :(


Brenda's Wedding Blog September 12, 2011 at 8:11 AM

totally with you - if you look at the big picture, there really isn’t a reason to stress. Written beautifully Jacin.


Frugalista September 12, 2011 at 8:34 AM

So true. Anything we might complain about day to day pales in comparison to what happened on that tragic day. At least we still get to be here. I didn’t know about your car wreck. Glad it wasn’t more serious. Bummer about your car. I have a civic too, which I love. I think you should get another one since they are such great cars! Can’t wait to see what you did with that there barn.


birdie to be September 12, 2011 at 9:02 AM

Very sweet & very real post. Yesterday’s recaps on tv were so intense and brought me right back to that day too. It was emotional all the way around!


Keisha (with a K) September 12, 2011 at 9:02 AM

Perspective is everything. I’m glad you’re okay.


Emma | Emmaline Bride September 12, 2011 at 9:04 AM

What a beautiful post, Jacin. I’ll with you! :) And, sorry about your car. I know the feeling… bummer. Happy you’re safe - that’s the most important thing.


claire @ a realistic wedding September 12, 2011 at 10:17 AM

Such a great post. And it’s true. There are so many other things in life that truly matter, but it’s hard to see those in our everyday lives, ya know? I’m sorry about your car, really happy you are okay and it was only a few scrapes.


Mel {The Oceanside Bride} September 12, 2011 at 10:17 AM

I’m sooooo glad you’re okay lady!! And this was right on point! I reflected back today on my own blog as well because there was “the day after”- 9.12. The day we felt united and were able to break down so many walls and barriers people put up all the time. We were able to love one another and focus on the really important things in life. It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of “wants” and to “be on top” that we just forget to live.


Debbie @ Bridalhood September 12, 2011 at 10:28 AM

Great post missy - it’s good to keep things in perspective.
And I love that barn photo - can’t wait to see the end result!


Kewain Scott September 12, 2011 at 11:08 AM

Sorry about your car! I have a 2004 honda civic too and it my heart. I am so glad you posted this because I work right here by the World Trade Center site and was thinking how can people walk by everyday seeing the damage and still treat people so horribly. One guy even pushed me on the stairs one day and if it weren’t for the guy behind me who caught me I would have been seriously injured. Same goes for the people in my office - its the same corporate political bull. Half of them don’t even care to know your name. But in times like these you just have to make a conscious choice not to be like some of those around us no matter how hard it may be. I just like to think for 2 people who is mean to me there is 1 person who cares about me twice as much.


jennie September 12, 2011 at 12:00 PM

OMG! I had no idea you were in an accident! I’m so glad you are okay! I’m with B. Count me for the ride! xoxoxoxox


Lena September 12, 2011 at 1:22 PM

You are wonderful. And that barn is magnificent.


Nicole September 12, 2011 at 2:01 PM

Dang I need to read facebook more often! I didn’t realize you’d been in a wreck :(. I’m glad to hear you’re ok and I know what you’re saying about the car. In the long run it’s just a car, but at the same time I think I’d be bummed too, you work hard for the things you have, but yes you’re right, it’s just a car.


Diana September 12, 2011 at 3:09 PM

I had no idea about your car accident, glad to hear you’re okay. Its really so true about doing something rather than just saying you will or saying what inspires you.

PS were having a giveaway on our fashion blog…beautiful scarf!

Again glad you are okay. <3


Alicia @CharityWedding September 12, 2011 at 8:41 PM

Hallelujah. And by that I mean I agreed, 100%.


Miriam Corona September 12, 2011 at 9:58 PM

Thank you for sharing this beautiful and personal post. Option B for sure.


yasmin {floral theory} September 13, 2011 at 5:28 AM

Happy to hear you are doing ok after such an awful accident! Praying for you and the injured foot. I am blown away by your spirit, heart, and soul Jacin. Even in a situation that’s bummed you out, you find a way to see the positive, and to spread that energy around to the rest of us. I am thankful you’ve written this reminder for us all.



Kiele Gregoire September 13, 2011 at 5:51 AM

what an inspiring and lovely post. thank you for that. i’m totally on your boat :)


Rhiannon {Hey Gorg} September 13, 2011 at 9:21 AM

Oh your poor car! But like you said, it’s about how you live your life and in the end that’s all that matters :) Cheers, lovely!


Claire Martine September 13, 2011 at 11:51 AM

I had this moment this weekend. Sunday morning my mom called me freaking out about the bridal shower and that “too many people might think they’re invited”. For the first time in the past year of planning, I put my foot down and told her to calm down, stop yelling at me and focus on the bigger picture. There are much more important things than too many gals showing up to show their support. We’re alive, there’s a sun in the sky and we should be grateful.

Amen Jacin.


postcards and pretties September 13, 2011 at 1:25 PM

so true! glad to hear you’re ok from the accident.


Jasmine September 13, 2011 at 4:07 PM

very well said :)

glad you’re okay!


Naomi September 14, 2011 at 6:57 PM

Oh I am so out of the loop and I feel like a bad blogger pal. I totally agree with you, Jacin. I’m sorry you had an accident but I’m happy and relieved you are ALIVE and can share you story. So many times we lose sight of the things we shouldn’t! I am on board! See you at the train station! I’m coming! Life is what you make of it and I chose {my faults and all} to be a better person than yesterday. I’m grateful to read this tonight. Thank you.


Sandra Downie @ Sandra Downie Event Designs September 14, 2011 at 7:23 PM

Oh Jacin, so sorry you were in a car accident. I was in one a few years ago (not my fault) where the driver of the other car died. No matter the situation, car accidents are never fun and am glad you are ok (bumps, bruises and all) So true to what really matters in life. We have health, family and love…we have it all!


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